It wasn't the first time she slipped into my dreams unannounced. 


Yesterday was hitch free, unlike Mondays. I had woken up eyes swollen from a Sunday long nap, dragged my frail frame into the bathroom. I showered lazily wondering why I must be at the office every Monday morning. But the bills won't foot themselves. 

Finally, the bath was over. I wrapped the towel around my tiny torso and walked briskly into my room, got me dressed and ready for work. Breakfast was ready, Sunday rice leftover to the rescue. I warmed it a bit and sat down to stuff a salty rice down my throat. Someday, I believe, I shall master the art of salting meals. A sip of water and sad hiss followed every spoonful. 

Satisfied, I adjusted my belt and stepped into the day. Monday, surprisingly was traffic free, stress free and everything free, except of course, transport fare...and the day was over. Homeward bound I turned...my dearly beloved bed to embrace. 

She, my bed, over the years, has been my sweetest hello and saddest goodbye. Dinner. Cold shower. A favourite TV show and an hour chat with Sweetness, I slipped into her warm yarny embrace and slipped the future.

I watched her playing a blue guitar, her scintillating voice rising into the atmosphere like the sacrifice of Abel. Pleasing. 
'...I'll be there to save the day'
I know the song, Chalie Putt's 'One Call Away', so I joined in the chorus.
'Superman got nothing on me...
I'm only one call away'

She was smiling now, at me. I walked up to her while she gathered 
her skirt and stood up to meet me. 

"You know your voice can make Lucifer weep and put Buhari to eternal sleep", I said to her. 

"You are a poet, friend. Always talking in lines and rhymes", She chuckled and blushed. 

I smiled stepped forward. Drinking in her elegance and funny tiny eyes. She drew closer to me. She was so close as though we would lock lips. I suddenly missed my ex. She would've ran into my arms and crush my lips with passionate kisses. I'm sure my countenance fell because Eniola's smiles evaporated. 

"Kachi, what's wrong?" She queried. I forced a smile and shruged. 
She knows me too well to risk a pretense. 

"I want you to heal, Kachi". She said to me. "...and I'm sure you'll be fine in no time".

Eniola and I have been friends for some time now. She knows secrets of mine most long time friends may never know. She knows I'm one with depression. She knows I embrace darkness like light and would rather be alone in Pluto than be surrounded by happy singing angles in paradise. But I wan't going to allow my sad past haunt this blissful moment. So I shrugged as if to shake it off, the mood.
"Your voice, your song, it helps me heal". I replied with genuine enthusiasm. 

"That's...you know, awesome". She said amidst smiles. 

"You too" I chirped in, and held her hand, "need to heal. If your voice helps me heal, what can I do to aide your recovery?" I asked 
anxiously. She sighed. I stared into her eyes. She looked away. Sighed again.

We've shared secrets and tales. Nothing excites her. Not life. Not love. Not even her amazing voice. She thinks life is one big joke God played on us. Outwardly, she's a bundle of smiles and exhumes happiness wherever, whenever, but in the inside, she's just another sad girl. A tragedy in the making. But I need her here, happy and hale. I need to reciprocate her healing songs. It might earn me no 
Nobel Laureate nor her heart, but I'll help her heal anyway. 

She sighed again. 

"My heart is an abysmal mess of emotions. A turbulent ocean", came her reply softly. 

"I'll dive deep into the ocean and leave me at the mercies of your voice waves. How soothing. Same waves, who knows, might be the adrenaline needed to save you". I told her convincingly. 

"You will drown". She whispered. "I don't want to lose you". 
Her cold reply disabled my limbs. I could swear, for flip seconds, I 
had no limbs. Not to be unseated by her gloomy words, I dug up a line of poetic rhetoric. Who knows, I might get her thinking otherwise.

"If I'm sinking, 
will you allow me drown?
If I'm drowning
will you let me die?
Won't you reach out with a line?
Won't you scream for help; 'Man Down!'" 

My voice almost betrayed me. It was trailing away. Anxiety creeping up my throat like phlegm. I stared at her, awaiting a reply. It came. Bland. Short syllabic.

"No" 
She... looked up and smiled. 
"I won't". She said. I could feel the confidence in her reply. I was relieved. Good to know I wouldn't lose myself trying to save her. 

Miraculously, I found my voice. I found yet another poem.
"Then, I'll take the risk. 
I will dive in there. 
I don't care 
I really do not care 
what the outcome will be"

My confidence levels was tilting towards red. Full. Over full. 

She stared at me, smiled... 'Poetry! Must you?"

I smiled and squeezed her palms. "I need you to heal, Enny"

"I don't want to hurt you. I'm darkness"

"I'm one with darkness. See? We rhyme. Allow me lend a feeble helping hand"

The sun must have heard me because it suddenly peeked from behind a cloud, beaming furiously on us. Melting away the hurt. It was getting hot. We needed to find home. 

I threw opened my arms. She was ready this time. We hugged. Rib crushing hugs. Desires compressed between us. 

"You will be fine" I whispered in her left ear. She held me tight. I caressed her back.

"How sure are you?". She whispered.

"I could be my left nipples on that".

"Thread safely" She replied.

Even the sun and it's furious smiles meant nothing no more. Time stood still for a while as we relished the warm embrace. Not with the body. With souls. 

Reluctantly, we let go. She picked up her guitar and walked away. 
"Take care, Poet" She said walking gracefully. 

I stood still like the statue of Jacob Zuma and watched her fade into the crowd of headless passersby. 

"I love you, Enny. You will heal". 

Alarm screamed. 
Morning. 
Another dream.

#Pengician #SSA